I think a lot of pessimism can be explained by reversing causalities. People get sad, and then find reasons to be sad. Just happens sometimes. Sadness just is. About a year ago, I stopped being able to trick myself that sadness was rational. “People suck, that is why I am sad.” “The world is finite, that is why I am sad.” “She doesn’t like me, that is why I am...
ALSO: Baking Is Really Fun, And I Make A Great...
One of my special abilities. Can only be unlocked with a bundt pan.
I don’t know how to make Ari Online™ interesting. I’m not focused enough to get out of bed on time, let alone craft a coherent identity. The best online things craft very specific identities for their roles, so you can pinpoint Who They Are—this person writes about music, this person writes about OCD, this person is obsessed with dresses. They become a resource for online audiences,...
How Do I Tumblr
Oh Whoops That Was A Private Message
godfuckthis asked: man dude why are you responding to these goofballs stop it they are not worth it unless you are leading up to a really funny essay on how muse's fanbase sucks (are you planning on doing that???)
Coming up: Muse
oneweekoneband: Thanks, Phil! …and continuing to investigate several shades of uncool, we’ll take a look at the pop prog-rock extravaganza of Muse next week. Ari Lipsitz is the week’s guest writer. Ari is the National Editor for NYU Local and has previously contributed to CMJ and the Village Voice. You can say hi to Ari on Twitter and follow him on Tumblr. See you tomorrow! — Hendrik ...
Me, I want to bloody kick this moronic bloody world in the bloody teeth over and...– David Mitchell on his “be nice to people” grind
me: omg i just bought boots
kengreller: WITHOUT CONSULTING A HOMOSEXUAL?
this exchange happened today
Luis: i'd rather discuss the racial contexts both in music and writing about music than statistical analysis of pitchfork scores, ari.
you haven't seen my new spreadsheet
Haters gonna do what they do
On Wednesday, Sound of the City published an essay on why Frank Ocean sucks. It was called “Frank Ocean Is Boring: The Year Lifeless Music Found Critical Praise” and called out Swans for being too moody, Gotye for using a xylophone, and Ocean for being too much like Drake. It was a hitpiece—in more than one way. It’s received a ton of traffic, engagement, and shares. As...
in the absence of any friends in this city, i'm...
thehowardbealeshow: y is the music scene in charlotte so gross well maybe not the local stuff, but the calendar at places like amos’ is mostly just very very not… my taste at all, but meh, demographic differences for some reason a significant portion of the demographic here has a demand for bon jovi cover bands and midget wrestling ಠ_ಠ this is what i have to deal with. distance to...
Ari Music Writing Thing: Pitchfork track things:... →
arimusicwritingthing: It’s less effective to calculate salience for tracks, mainly because they’re so diffuse—34% of writers had a SOTY pick that didn’t touch the Top 100, and the most-chosen SOTY only had three votes. So there are a few points of interest, even if they’re a little more spread out: Grimes’ “Oblivion”… I did the album thing for the songs too!
Ari Music Writing Thing: Trying to figure out this... →
arimusicwritingthing: So I’m an admittedly huge Pitchfork geek—like, the level of data analysis I’ve done with Pitchfork reviews proudly soars past “borderline psychotic”—so the P4k Top Albums list is always a bunch of fun. But instead of the usual gripes and moans—though I might do those later, seeing as Frankie… If you want to read dorkness re: Pitchfork rankings, click on.
5. So I do this thing where I’m never satisfied. Ever. With every personal and...– Fuck you Ryan O’Connell, but despite yourself you’re not totally wrong here. (Sourced begrudgingly)
In Defense of SantaCon
Well, no, but think of how many pageviews this post would get.
have a really weird workflow process involving...
me: lol at all of these winsome wide-eyed college kids thinking that their bourgeois illusory interests translate into marketable skill sets or remotely applicable life activities
Jocelyn: OMG ARI
YOU ARE DEPRESSING
Jocelyn: STOP IT
YOU'RE GOING TO BE WILDLY SUCCESSFUL
me: 40,000 undergrads all told they are perfect and bright and creative and successful
pouring so much cash into the perpetuation of self-esteem
until one day the cash runs out, and you can't eat self-esteem
Jocelyn: OMG ARI
me: as if we had any illusion that we didn't have to choose between stability and our adolescent attempt at meaningful soul-satisfying work
Jocelyn: OMG STOP
we don't have to have stability for another like ten years
and you will be FINE
me: we keep telling ourselves "FINE FINE FINE"
and ignore the bank statements
Jocelyn: BECAUSE WE HAVE TO GET THROUGH FINALS WEEK
me: which are the only statements that really matter, y'know?
Jocelyn: OMG JUST TRANSFER TO STERN IF YOU ARE FREAKING THIS MUCH
me: drowning out any kind of realistic benchmark with the novocaine blanket of mass encouragement
Jocelyn: STOP IT I CANNOT HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW
NOT THIS WEEK
sorry this is part of the work process for me
i will stop
this song is less ironic than you think it is
ke$ha and tazing
this is going to be annoying
that's what he should call his column
tweet that at him
he's being a kesha snob
"i liked her when everyone hated her"
Luis: when has everyone hated her?
me: when she came out
me: because it was 'annoying'
Luis: i was all about kesha
except for tik tok
me: lots of people hated ke$ha a lot
Luis: because that shit IS annoying
but animal was great
me: "she annoyed a group of people that is always hilarious to piss off: snooty arbiters of "authentic" music."
me: that was not projecting at all
watch this instead
me: She represents what pop music can deliver in its purest, most puerile form, which is pleasure outside the normal confines of taste, decorum, or "goodness."
Luis: jesus christ
me: kill kill
me: These kinds of sentiments were standard in rock when hair metal ruled the roost — peaking around the time Ke$ha was born in 1987 — but have faded as upper-class indie bands have become more prominent.
btw he means sentiments like
"We are the misfits / We are the bad kids / The degenerates / We ain't perfect but that's all right!"
me: he is so so off the mark sometimes
gonna listen to supernatural now
finally watching this video
me: the taser one
Luis: oh yeah
i forgot how funny it is
me: i don't get how the taser grenade is different than a regular taser
Luis: you get shot with a grenade?
me: nothing is important after that cover
me: oh it was just so far beyond anything resembling decency that i don't understand anything after it
Keyana: what cover
me: the new york post cover
Keyana: THAT THING FROM THIS MORNING WHICH WAS VERY FAR AWAY
me: not far enough :(
every time i think i'm 'hard' enough to be on the internet or in front of people
me: stuff like this happens and i just want to drink cocoa
Keyana: why would anyone ever think that
me: let's move to montana
me: let's get real jobs and stop reading twitter
oh wait you did
Aaron puts it in perspective
Aaron: just have them pump shots of pumpkin sauce straight into your mouth
coyote ugly style
Aaron: you stand on the starbucks counter, trashy hair metal plays in the background
baristas gone wild
There's no coffee in this coffee.
Yeah, okay. It’s not like a Pumpkin Spice Latte is the coffee-est of coffee drinks. If I cared at all about legitimate caffeination, then maybe a Pumpkin Spice Latte would occupy the bottom carving on the totem pole. But they’re delicious and I drink them a lot. As far as I can tell, a Pumpkin Spice Latte is three parts espresso, three parts milk, and one part...
Music has gone horribly wrong since 2008. It started with Miley, then ashley,...– Wise, terrified words on Rolling Stone this morning. (in the comments)
What If There Were Different Types Of People On...
A Trend Piece By Ari Lipsitz
me: making my EOY playlist
Elissa: i thought p4k did that for you
me: i mean i'll edit after obv
Got really caffeinated and tried to gchat 6 people...
regarding the time i met das racist
gabetwee: I bought 4 tickets to this thing because I figured my friends would want to go. They did not. I do not have any friends. I went to the concert anyway because that’s what Amelia Earhart would do assuming Amelia Earhart liked rap music. I said that aloud to myself in the car a few times. “Amelia Earhart wouldn’t give a fuck Amelia Earhart would go see Das Racist all by herself.” I...
Anatomy Of A Linkbait Post
arimusicwritingthing: Today, Buzzfeed Music published a post called “Linkin Park Might Be The Most Influential Rock Band Of The Last Decade.” The format was a nine-song analysis of Linkin Park’s career, and why those songs are great, and how they hold up. For a variety of reasons, the post is problematic. I’ll start at the beginning, in order of least worrisome to legitimately troubling. ...
"I can't be the only one fantasizing about a... →
Nitsuh Abebe is a terrific writer.
You weren’t a very good month for me. I decided to throw myself into work, but you kept making it difficult. Local would never publish when I had to edit it. My spine cracked under the weight of a week-long spreadsheet, and then CMJ depleted every interest I had in socialization, music, or the Internet. Work turned into a threat, and I became resentful of it—the moment when “everything...
First listen of the new Godspeed You! Black...
me: omg the first crescendo is happening
or i will spoil local business for you
me: i get to do this since you tweeted about titus
me: second crescendoooo
Luis: shut it.
The temptation, then, is to just keep expanding, until the show is filmed on all...– And this is why Todd VanDerWerff’s Glee recaps are the best.
keyanamiyana: Before everyone starts going gaga over that NBC / Kim Kardashian thing, can we just take a moment and recognize that yer average person does not actually give two shits about 9/11 unless it HAPPENS TO BE 9/11, and that our culture is so reality-television-dominated that this should not be a surprise AT ALL? Please save your shock and sniffing disapproval for something that doesn’t...
straight female solutions to Ari problems
E: you should just walk in and be like "I AM A STRAIGHT BOY. ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO ME? I WILL BUY YOU DINNER TO LEAVE THIS CLASS. NOT ATTRACTED TO ME? I WILL SEE THAT ONE OF MY OTHER STRAIGHT MALE FRIENDS TAKES YOU OUT TO DINNER."
"Earth’s richest 1,000 individuals now control as...
Example of terrible Reddit Politics headline. Refusing to link to it, because that defeats the point entirely. You see, the 4037 upvotes that post got were NOT due to the content of the article. The environment of r/politics discourages actual clicking—rather, you respond to the headline (the more inaccurate or hyperbolic, the better) and leave analysis or logical argument to the comments. ...
Jorge: saw some hot biddies on campus today
me: me too
but i am afraid to talk to them
Jorge: me too
torridly: the medium and the messages →
torridly: Astute friend Gordon said something that’s stuck in my head for weeks about the pitfalls of web presences: how they rewire some bits of our brains we might most want to use to have creative ideas. The lab-rat-like endorphin hit I get when I refresh Twitter and Tumblr (and I do it more than… Similarly, I believe Reddit is destroying the political consciousness of young people,...